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		<title>John Paul, Slidell</title>
		<link>http://gylaw.wordpress.com/2008/03/16/john-paul-slidell/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Mar 2008 13:16:14 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Many of you have already read this from two years ago.   I wrote this after my travels to see South Louisiana after Katrina. &#160; So many people are leaving the southern Louisiana, but I often wonder about the people who decided to stay. There&#8217;s something magical about New Orleans, If you haven&#8217;t felt it, you [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gylaw.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2878266&amp;post=10&amp;subd=gylaw&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal">Many of you have already read this from two years ago.   I wrote this after my travels to see South Louisiana after Katrina.</p>
<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">So many people are leaving the southern Louisiana, but I often wonder about the people who decided to stay. There&#8217;s something magical about New Orleans, If you haven&#8217;t felt it, you can&#8217;t understand. John Paul is a fictional character, but all of the things written have come from different individuals statements that I have heard on the news or in person or family folklore and my historical studies of New Orleans and the Flood of 1927.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">John Paul, Slidell<br />
by Gyla k.Whitlow</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">I had to go. Against all my family and friends wishes, I had to go back to the God’s country that has drawn me to it all my life. The drive was long. Two hurricanes, whose names I shall never forget Katrina and Rita had ripped through my home state of Louisiana.</font><font face="Times New Roman">I drove to the bedroom community of Slidell, Louisiana which is 18 due miles north of New Orleans and which was built on the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain. This city had been hard hit by the tremendous storm surge of Katrina. Stories of homes and business lost by 20’ feet of water had been reported on the news for four weeks now. I had to see it for myself and see if there was anything I could do for its families.</font><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><font face="Times New Roman">I came across the parish Red Cross command center. I stopped to volunteer. I was told that I needed to go back home, have a background check and take the harassment and sensitivity training. I asked how long that would take and the estimate was three weeks. Finding that my conversation and arguments were going nowhere with the lady at the front desk, I decided to leave.</p>
<p>I had a little cash and gas in my car. It was more than a lot of people had that surrounded me, so I decided to strike out on my own to see if I could help someone in need. There was no way that I would drive back to Houston and not have helped a soul. All the roadblocks were gone now so it was easy to move about the city.</p>
<p>My mind would not let me think that it had been four weeks since the storm and there were still hundreds of trees down, electricity out and thousands of people misplaced from their homes. People, Americans, were living in tents in every roadside park or vacant lots. Debris lined street after street, stacked six to eight feet into the air. Cars, washing machines, freezers, TV’s, furniture, clothes were mingled in with the sheet rock and rolls of wet carpet. I wondered  how many children lost their favorite toys or grandmothers lost the grandchildren’s pictures that night Katrina came ashore.</p>
<p>I went directly to my old stomping grounds, one block from Lake Pontchartrain Drive to a road named Rats Nest Road. It curves and follows the lake’s shore and once had fishing camps built out into the water. Twelve feet high, the locals built their camps to protect them from the Big One that they knew, one day, would come. There was Salveaux’s restaurant that had the best oysters in town; well its gone now, all gone. Time and time again, I have driven down that road to<br />
find fresh oysters, shrimp and crabs. The fishermen would come in with their catch for sale. Now, their roadside shops and boats are gone.</p>
<p>It was dusk and the sun was going down, I looked ahead and I saw a camp fire blazing. I drove slowing through the debris; missing the hull of boats, lumber and trees. I parked out in the middle of the road, there was no traffic to worry about, and that is all gone too. There sat a man, leaned against a pine log. Maybe this is who I am supposed to help. Surely I can buy him something that he needs.</p>
<p>Getting out of my car, the old man smiled and said, “How are ya this evening? What brings you out here?”</p>
<p>“I am just out driving to see if there’s anything I can do?” He seemed to be in his eighties, his clothes looked as if he had worn them all week. His salty smile was inviting as I walked up to the camp fire. He had a twinkle in his eye to say he would enjoy some company for awhile.</p>
<p>“I’ve got some coffee brewing. If you have a cup, you are welcome to join me. I only have one that the Salvation Army left me.” As he picked up his cup, his hand shook a bit, but I could tell that he was still strong.</p>
<p>“I happen to have a Starbucks cup in my car, I will be right back.” As I walked back to my car, I hear his voice rise a bit so I could hear him say “I will never understand you city slickers paying $4 dollars for a cup of coffee, something ain’t right with that.” with a chuckle in his voice.</p>
<p>“Here, find yourself a seat. Sorry, it will have to be on the ground. At least, it is dry now.”</p>
<p>“Did you run from the storm or ride through it?” That seems to be the question, you ask these folks. It makes for a good conversation start and people always to have a lot to say when you ask.</p>
<p>“I wanted to ride it out. I have done it before with Betsy and Camille, but I think everyone thought this was different some how. The police came in buses and announced to evacuate. I ain’t been out of town in awhile so I decided to take a ride. I knew there would not be any crabbing so I decided to go. They took me to Baton Rouge where they set up cots after cots. You got some water and a sandwich or two. I still can’t figure out how them people knew that the storm wouldn’t come to Baton Rouge. I guess Baton Rouge had some acorns on their oaks. I stayed there for three days and decided it was time to check on the ol’ place and the boat here.” he said while he look over the water at the dozen pilings that were left.</p>
<p>“For some reason, there were no buses coming back. So, I just checked myself out and took to highway 190 east. I must have walked for a couple of hours then I caught myself a ride with some tree cuttin boys. They had fifteen trucks lined-up to come down here. They were from Colorado. They tried to talk me out of coming, but I told them I had seen worse. After I got to the edge of town, I walked around the sheriff ‘s road block and went down thru town. It was a mess down there. And it still is. The sheriff was probably plenty mad at me when he saw that I had made it down here. I told him to get ahold of himself and he went on.”</p>
<p>My guilt of such an easy life had taken over while he spoke and I interrupted him “Do you need anything? Is there something I can do for you? I have some money. You need food, clothes, water? Is there anything&#8230;&#8230;..”</p>
<p>“No, I have everything I need. The Salvation Army gave me this tent, a couple of pots and a blanket. And I have dried beans and some rice. I suppose there will be a lot of Mondays around here, for awhile. The Chaplain came down here to check on me and I told him I would not be able to give my ten dollars to the Christmas drive this year. He said he understood. I suppose in a way, I’ve brought the things that were given to me. I gave ten dollars to that man for thirty years. Them government boys gave me a credit card and told me that money was on it. I ain’t got no car and besides that there ain’t no electricity or phone lines. Now, how am I going to use that card?”</p>
<p>We sat there awhile starring into the camp style fire. Then suddenly, we both heard a rumble. Turning to see, the headlights started to appear. The dust from the torn out sheet rock rose behind the trucks that went down the road. They passed one by one, each having a sign in the window that said “Disaster Relief: FEMA”.</p>
<p>“That’s the third time, them carpet baggers have been down here.” The tone in his voice began to change with each passing truck.</p>
<p>“I have heard about the carpet baggers after the Civil War, but&#8230;&#8230;.”</p>
<p>“The Civil War carpet baggers changed a whole lot of things including my family’s business. Before the war, my dad said that his father could buy rare silks from China right off the boats in New Orleans. Taxes got too high, he could not afford the fabric anymore after they came down from Washington.”</p>
<p>I wanted to know more, I had to hear his story. I wonder who “they” were, the carpet baggers and what they had to do with now&#8230;&#8230;..“So, your family owned a business in New Orleans?”</p>
<p>“Yep, but that was years ago. We lost it to the Big Flood in 1927. My family lost everything that year and they say water stood ten feet higher where you are sitting today. I guess you could say my whole life changed the day the waters came. It really changed everything.”</p>
<p>The twinkle in his eyes had changed now. There was a distant sadness that I could see with the glow of the fire. “I was nine years old in 1927. My family had lived there as did my grandparents. We owned a fabric store down there on Poydras Street, you know where that is? The store was on the first level and upstairs was our home. New Orleans was something to see back then, one of the largest cities in the Country. You could go down to the French Market and find anything you wanted from around the world. Our houses were decorated with furniture from Europe. We got iron fencing from places like England and Germany. We were the center of the country economy and in those days cotton was king. The whole world wanted our cotton. Want another cup of coffee?”</p>
<p>“Sure!” was my reply and in hopes that he would finish the story of his life. He took a break to pour the coffee. Again, he let out of chuckle and shook his head as he filled my Starbucks cup.</p>
<p>“In those days, you could go to the edge of this lake and take out crabs with your hands. Me and my dad would go every Saturday fishin’ and crabbin’. My mother would cook a big pot of gumbo for Saturday night. We always ate good. Crabs are way back in the bayous now.” He lifted his hand and pointed to the north. “You have to hunt for them, now. Me and Louis made some money in our day. If Louis can find his boat, we’ll go find ‘em again.”</p>
<p>I wasn’t much into fishing stories. I wasore anxious to know more about the flood, so I quickly asked a question to get him back on track, “What was the flood like back then?”</p>
<p>“It was big, bigger than you can even imagine. But, you know New Orleans didn’t have to go through all of that. I will never forget it, never. My dad came in all bothered one night, yelling for us to pack our things, we had to leave. He had been to a town hall meeting, and ‘em bankers decided that they needed to blow up the levees to save New Orleans. See, it had been raining for a long time up north and places like Ferriday and Vicksburg were underwater. All them plantations along the Mississippi were hurtin’ real bad. Some say the water of the ol’ river went all the way to Monroe and the Mississippi and Ouachita became one river. There was an Indian mound up North that people sat on for days waiting for help.”</p>
<p>“We went over to Lake Charles by train and stayed at my aunt’s house for a month or so. They blew the levee around where Ninth Ward is now and then they blew another hole at the end of Canal. They said they had to do it to save New Orleans. Turned out the overflow was in North Louisiana. But they did it, them bankers did it. Water flowed twelve feet high down Poydras, filled our house to the top floor.”</p>
<p>“When we got back, I think my Dad lost his mind. He went to pulling out all them rolls of fabric, trying to spare them for something. All he kept saying was ‘The ladies of News Orleans will need something to wear when they get back to here.’”</p>
<p>“He took real sick after that. The doctor told mother that we needed to move to a dryer climate, his lungs had filled with black mold and he was coughing up blood. So, we packed a suitcase and rode a train to Arizona. We lived there. I buried my daddy and my mother there in the dirty rocky place. I wouldn’t go back there for nothing now.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;When I was growing up my dad would wave around the envelope and say ‘This is yours when I die.’ Come to find out, it was the deed to the land that our house sat on Poydras Street.’”</p>
<p>I guess in was my turn to answer a question or two, he turning quickly and said “I hear them folks in the Ninth Ward didn’t make out too good in this storm. You know anything about it?”</p>
<p>“No, sir&#8230;.they didn’t. The levee broke and 60 percentage of New Orleans is underwater. Ninth Ward took it real bad. A lot of them had no transportation and couldn’t get out. They sat at the Superdome for four days. Things got real bad down there. No water, no food, no medicine.”</p>
<p>“It ain’t the first time that has happened. Them folks shouldn’t be living there in the first place. But after the big flood, the President came down here proclaiming jobs and shelters for anyone that would come and help build the levees back. All the share croppers came down ‘cause their bosses could no longer farm the land that the flood got. People were starving everywhere. Them, carpet baggers, they never change, always promising somethin&#8217; for a vote.”</p>
<p>“Them poor blacks worked for 14 cents a day and was given a tent. Some of them worked at gun point. It was real bad&#8230; real bad. Then they gave them a swamp to live in. That’s Ninth Ward, now. President didn’t help us none. After it was all over, he was gone.”</p>
<p>Knowing what I had seen on CNN and other news, the Ninth Ward of New Orleans is a very poor and neglected part of the city. It all seemed to come together in my mind as he spoke.</p>
<p>“A lot of folks don’t understand them people in New Orleans. But they came down here and rebuilt the city. They didn’t have no training or no education. All they knew was how to work with their hands. After the city came back, they had nothing to do. But, you know, they made it. Well, their biggest pay day was during Mardi Gras. They would be carrying them oil torches so all the rich folks could see the floats pass by. The richest folks rode wagons to their parties and threw out oranges and bananas, rice and beans to the poor. And the people watching the parades would throw pennies for the torch carriers. Their children and their children&#8217;s children became tap dancers, street entertainers and beggars. But, when it came to music, man they can play that jazz. You know that wasn’t that long ago. Some people seem to think that if you forget it will go away.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t believe what he was telling me, had history repeated itself? I asked “Did the levees get rebuilt?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah&#8230;.they did, but it took Hugh P. yelling all the way to Washington to get somethin&#8217; done. He told those guys in Washington if they didn’t do it, he would. He even taxed them big oil fellers from Texas saying if you were going to drill in Louisiana, you were going to pay Louisiana. He called out the National Guard on Standard Oil. The Rockefellers got real mad. Huey P. shut down every one of Rockefeller’s oil wells. Everyone in the country loved Huey P. Long. It didn’t take long before they took him down, too.”</p>
<p>“As long as I lived in Arizona, I wanted to come back. I married myself a woman back in 1947 and came back to New Orleans. She didn’t like the south and didn’t stay too long. I put her on a bus for Utah and I never saw her again after that. I knew I had the deed to the land on Poydras and New Orleans was slowly coming back. I could sell the land and find me a place somewhere Uptown. I got me a job at Jax Brewery. It was downtown. I rode the trolley to work. But Betsy blew through in 1962, Camille in 1965 and then brewery took a big hit. It closed down in the late seventies.”</p>
<p>He seemed to pause as if he was looking back in time. A lot of scenes were passing through his mind. I gave him time to gather his thoughts then I asked “What brings you to this side of the lake?”</p>
<p>“I always loved crabbing and the outdoors. I guess that comes from my Dad and those days we spent out on the lake. I had built me up little retirement and I sold the land on Poydras to some city slicker. So I decided to buy me this little camp.” He points back to the pylons sticking out of the water.</p>
<p>“It’s getting harder and harder to find dem crabs now. You have to know the bayous and where they’re hiding. I made me a little pocket change here and there. Enough to keep me afloat. “</p>
<p>With a smile, I said “So, what are you going to do now?”</p>
<p>“Well, ain’t no other place I would rather be. I have made a deal with one of the dump truck drivers. He’s gonna bring me a truck load of some good lumber when he finds it. I have been needin’ to remodel anyway.” he said with a smile. “It’s gonna be tough for a while. I’ve got my social security check coming in and if I get sick, the VA will take care of me. I told you I did two years in the Army, didn’t I?”</p>
<p>Fear came over me, this man is staying. What would he do next time, how will he make it with nothing. “So, you are going to stay?”</p>
<p>“Girl, this is my life! They say to run from water and hide from the wind. Well, I am tired of running and tired of hiding. If God wants me, he will take me next time with the wind cause I ain’t running no more.”</p>
<p>A cool front came in as we will talking and I moved closer to the fire. He looked up in the sky and said, “Ol’ man winter will keep them storms away for the next couple of months. It’ll give people time to rebuild and get their lives back together. God knows what he’s doing, he knows. Hopefully, there will be some acorns on the trees.”</p>
<p>It was getting late now and I knew he had a tough day or days ahead of him. I asked him again if he needed anything, clothes or food. He looked down the road and pointed to an RV sitting in the road and said, “Yep, you can do me a favor. See that RV, the man has a wife and four kids. He’s a good man, lost his job cause the company is gone. Give him your money and your food. He&#8217;s the one that needs it.”</p>
<p>“Well, I better go now. It’s getting late. Oh, by the way, my name is Alice. What’s yours?”</p>
<p>“Well, nice to meet you Alice, I’m John Paul! And I got my name before the Pope got his.” he laughed and smiled. “I had a good time with ya tonight and come back to check on me next October.”</p>
<p>“I will, John Paul&#8230;I’ll be back.”</p>
<p>As I drove home the next day, I was thinking of John Paul and his story. I remembered Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” and thought to myself that things never really change. One verse kept repeating itself in my head over and over again. “Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink, water, water everywhere and all the ships did sink.” Maybe, just maybe I have met the modern day mariner or the ghost of one from the past. But I do know that every summer I will look in the oak trees to see if the acorns are there.</p>
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		<title>The Fog at Sunrise</title>
		<link>http://gylaw.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/the-fog-at-sunrise/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:08:18 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[During the dark of night, fog pulls you into a very lonely place.  There are no others that you can see or reach out to, no cars traveling towards you or passing you.  It’s just you.  You constantly want to reach out thru the fog to touch or feel others close.   But at sunrise, there’s [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gylaw.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2878266&amp;post=5&amp;subd=gylaw&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman">During the dark of night, fog pulls you into a very lonely place.<span>  </span>There are no others that you can see or reach out to, no cars traveling towards you or passing you.<span>  </span>It’s just you.<span>  </span>You constantly want to reach out thru the fog to touch or feel others close.<span>   </span>But at sunrise, there’s the hope that you will see again.<span>  </span>That you can drive without fear again.<span>  </span>You won’t be alone again.<span>   </span>Soon, the heat of the sun will evaporate this liquid mist and you will see again.</font></p>
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<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman">When you are in a poker fog, you are lost.<span>  </span>You are not thinking correctly, your patience is gone and bad cards have started looking like good cards.<span>  </span>Everyone is bluffing and pushing you off your pots.<span>  </span>You can’t see when you’re beat and you can’t see when you have won.<span>  </span>It is just a fog.<span>    </span>You have to learn from this fog.<span>   </span>Your mind, desires and emotions will carry the heat of the sun.<span>  </span>And like the rotational pull of the sun, there will be another sunrise to erase this evil fog.</font></p>
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<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman">Kinder, Louisiana, 08/25/06</font></p>
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<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman">My big 50th birthday!<span>  </span>Janice had invited our family and friends to come celebrate my 50 birthday at Coushatta Casino.<span>  </span>London and Michelle flew in from LA which made it a perfect weekend.<span>   </span>We entered the Saturday tournament, $125 with one rebuy.<span>  </span>I was holding my own then they broke our table.<span>  </span>And behold, I was seated next to Janice.<span>  </span>Now, I am the world’s worst at remembering cards.<span>   </span>But the cards aren’t the story here; it was my reaction to an opponent’s betting,<span>  </span></font></p>
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<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman">I know I had a mid pair and I raise three times the big blind.<span>  </span>The guy next to me reraises and I call.<span>  </span>We were heads up.<span>  </span>I bet one half the pot so I wouldn’t give him pot odds.<span>  </span>He came over the top of me and raised!<span>  </span>After the turn, I put in another half bet of the pot and he raises me again.<span>  </span><span> </span>My mind is saying, “How dare him&#8230;&#8230;how could he possibly have anything&#8230;.he is bluffing&#8230;.he is trying to push me out&#8230;..he is just another little poker punk&#8230;..I’ll show him!” <span> </span>The fog comes rolling in! <span> </span>With a moment’s notice I say, “I’m all-in!”<span>  </span>Very quickly, he called me.<span>  </span>We flip over the cards and he had aces.<span>  </span></font></p>
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<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman">Ok, I am gone, I am outta here!<span>  </span>And to put coals on the fire, Janice looks at me as I am gathering my things and says “Why did you do that? He showed you three times that he had you beat.<span>  </span>Why did you do that?”<span>  </span>Of course, I have to smart off and say “I thought he was bluffing and besides that you have done much “<i>stupider</i>” before!”<span>  </span>Ask me how many times, I have made that move before!<span>  </span>Sorry, Janice!</font></p>
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<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman">So, this is my sunrise! <span> </span>My power of intention since I was six years old has been “I am going to beat you”<span>  </span>“I am going to beat you by hitting a homerun.” “I am going to beat you by throwing you out at home plate.” “I am going to beat you by setting the best set for the spiker to kill.”<span>  </span>“I am going to beat you by making three point goals and blocking your shots.” <span> </span>I have always been competitive in sports where strength and force will shut down your opponent.<span>   </span>But in poker, there is no one to “beat” except beating yourself.<span>  </span>The athletic mind has to be tamed.<span>   </span>Of course, I need to harness the desire to win that I have always had as an athlete, but only realize that there is no strength and force to poker.<span>   </span>That the all-in move can only work if the opponent’s hand can be possibly weakened by the cards in the center of the table.<span>  </span></font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"></font></p>
<p style="margin:0;" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman">I found an article that I had saved from a couple of years ago.<span>   </span>I apologize to the writer; I do not know his name.<span>  </span>But I do give him credit.<span>  </span><span> </span>If anyone knows who the author is, please let me know.<span>  </span>I will tag his name to the article. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><i><font face="Times New Roman">“</font><span style="color:black;"><font face="Times New Roman">What should you do next? When it comes to goal setting, one of the biggest problems most people have is being SPECIFIC! The key to improving yourself is to honestly and accurately identify the specific things you need to improve upon. Typically, when I ask College athletes what their goals are for the season they usually say something like, &#8220;Dude, I want to be All-Universe. I want to hit 50 home runs and have 100 RBI&#8217;s.&#8221; This sounds great and may even be reachable (for some), but it doesn&#8217;t include the specifics of how to get there. In other words, what will this person do each and every day to reach his goals? Which brings me to my final point: if you want to be successful you have to set a goal for yourself every day. It doesn&#8217;t have to be a big goal. In fact, this is why I ask College athletes to carry their notebooks with them all season, so they can write down a small, challenging, realistic, reachable goal each day; one that can be measured and evaluated at the end of the day; one that will be motivating and provide a sense of accomplishment when it has been reached.</font></span></i><i><span style="color:black;"><font face="Times New Roman"> The bottom line is this: if you want to be a successful poker player you have to have a plan; you have to set small goals that are reachable and measurable. Are you committed? Are you willing to work hard and long at your craft? This it what separates the men (women) from the boys (girls). Great athletes and great poker players know that in order to reach greatness you must be willing to work at your craft, and you have to set your goals.”</font></span></i><span style="color:black;"></span><span style="color:black;font-family:Verdana;"> </span><span style="color:black;"><font face="Times New Roman">So, how do I change my lifetime power of intention?<span>  </span>Why do I play poker? What is my plan?</font></span><span style="color:black;font-family:Verdana;"> </span><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="color:black;">What is my ultimate dream?<br />
What are my immediate goals?</span></font><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="color:black;"><span style="color:black;font-family:Verdana;"></span><span style="color:black;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
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		<title>Thru the fog</title>
		<link>http://gylaw.wordpress.com/2008/02/15/thru-the-fog/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Feb 2008 04:10:11 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Well, I thought I would join the internet world of blogging.  I figured that if I can&#8217;t win a poker, I would start blogging about poker.  So here I am writing about my thoughts. When I started playing tournament poker I thought I was pretty good at it.  Janice and I played alot of poker at [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=gylaw.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2878266&amp;post=3&amp;subd=gylaw&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Well, I thought I would join the internet world of blogging.  I figured that if I can&#8217;t win a poker, I would start blogging about poker.  So here I am writing about my thoughts.</p>
<p>When I started playing tournament poker I thought I was pretty good at it.  Janice and I played alot of poker at Harrah&#8217;s Lake Charles.  I guess everyone has a home poker room.  To us, we knew every good face and when we didn&#8217;t know who they were we assumed that they were our fish catch of the day.   Every other Saturday,  Janice and I would travel 3 hours to play in their $65 tourney.  One or the other of us always made it to the final table.    All the dealers knew us and we knew them.  We were called by name.  That&#8217;s where we got our induction and education to poker.</p>
<p>In January of 2005, we took a trip to Tunica Mississippi&#8230;.we had read online that there was a Ladies Tournament and we were going to test our skills in a big tourney.  Much to my surprise and alot of luck hitting a Jack four of clubs in the big blind, I made it to the final table.   Yep, WSOP Main Event Braclet would be mined next year for sure.  Came home to our card room and all the dealers were happy and amazed that I actually took 8th place in the tournament.   And then we were back to waiting for the fish at the weekly tournament and the 3, 6, 12 limit game.  They were there for the picking.</p>
<p>Went to the WSOP in 2005 and luck would have it, I would be playing against the luckest broad of the tournament.  Six hours, I played with Jennifer Tilley.  I watched her taking pot after pot after pot and each time she was hitting on the river.   I couldn&#8217;t believe my eyes or my chip stack.  My dream of winning the Ladies Tournament then placing ten grand in the cage window was gone!</p>
<p>Now, the summer of 2005 proved to be a very hard year for south Louisiana.  First, Katrina hit New Orleans and surrounding areas.  Janice&#8217;s family lost everything from the storm surge, not the broken levees.  (That&#8217;s another story!)  Janice&#8217;s mother, sister, two dogs and two cats came and stayed with us for four weeks.   No time for poker during that time.  Then six weeks later, Hurricane Rita delivered her blow to southeast Texas and southwest Louisiana.  Now, you don&#8217;t hear much about Rita because of what I call a major coverup.  But like I said that is another story!</p>
<p>Rita took our little casino and cardroom and tore it from the pier.  Half of it sank in the middle of Lake Charles and the other half floated helplessly.  In my mind, my poker progression stopped at the point.   We had two or three choices after our little boat sank; we could drive three hours to an indian reservation or play with the terrible country rednecks in another casino or stay home and play in the Houston illegal cardrooms.  We had a little bank roll and we chose to stay home.</p>
<p>I rpomise you I am getting somewhere with this&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..</p>
<p>The next summer, Janice and I both placed in the money of the WSOP Ladies event.  The next day, I was in the top sixteen in the Orleans Ladies event.  That&#8217;s another story too!   After that our next big tournament was Tunica in 2007.   That&#8217;s where my mental brakes hit and I haven&#8217;t recover from them.  </p>
<p>I was in the zone, playing everything correctly, getting cards, bluffing at the right time.  For six hours, I lead the tournament in chips.  I had set myself on cruise while waiting for the bubble so I could push for all of the blinds while everyone tighten up.   Then they moved a woman next to me.  She busted four ladies at our table and had build her a stack.   She had move in second right bhind me.  I am on the button, we have a lady who raises.  I haven&#8217;t looked at my cards yet.  The lady next to me says &#8220;I am all-in!&#8221;  It is a voice recording that I can&#8217;t get out of my head, I hear it all the time&#8230;.&#8221;I&#8217;m all-in.&#8221;  I take my time to look at my cards, looking at both of them&#8230;.ACE.ACE.   Oh, happy day, my rail into the finals, the babies I need, I am going to take her out with one fail swoop&#8230;.THIS IS MINE!   Video is now embedded for my triumph,  very gently I say, &#8220;I call!&#8221;  Everyone gasping for air, four women jump out of their seats, other tables stop their play.    She turns over her Kings and I turn over my aces.   I hear someone in the backgorund yelling, &#8220;Gyla has aces!&#8221;  Lupe comes running.   The dealer thumps the table three times with his fist, he cut one card of the top and counts out the flop.   King, that&#8217;s all I saw, is King, that&#8217;s it a King!  I keep seeing that king, king, king.  This video plays over and over and over in my mind.  I am crippled.  I am dazed.  My heart is pounding.  My legs buckle.  I can&#8217;t feel my arms.  I try to count out my chips, but my hands are shaking.  The tournament director steps in and counts them for me.   I have 2,400 chips left. </p>
<p>It just so happened that I am moved to another table.  I look at my cards and have K,Q.  I call the big blind and we see a flop.  I hit two pair and I push allin.   The woman next to me calls.  She has an open end str8t draw and hits it on the river.  My glory tournament is over in two hands. </p>
<p>But wait that&#8217;s no the end of this story&#8230;..since that tournament after tournament after tournament,  I have busted out in the first hour.    The curse is still with me&#8230;.I can shake it off.  </p>
<p>So this is my journey out of the fog.  I will be searching what has gone wrong, why I can&#8217;t turn loose of the past and find a new home casino, why I can&#8217;t forget that video and why I am not getting better.  That&#8217;s it for now.  More too come later.</p>
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